A goblin. His proof of manhood. The bad hombre who wants it.

What starts as an innocent game of three cards with an ink shadow quickly escalates into Hiccup (the goblin, not the bodily function) stupidly betting his proof of manhood.

To save himself from possible castration, Hiccup has less than twenty-four hours to put on a parade, arrange a sensual massage, get a table at a Michelin star restaurant, and book a night at the most expensive hotel in Jatla, all with the hopes of appeasing the ink shadow (yes, the one whom he bet his penis to), and proving to the shadow that Jatla, the infamous goblin city, is not a sh*thole.

Of course, everyone knows Jatla is a sh*thole, including Hiccup, which only makes his task that much harder.

You didn't ask for it, but here it is. A goblin tale of deception filled with action, orcs, magic, ogres, a weretiger in a leather jacket, toilet humor, and utter fickery set in the Fantasy Online universe.